Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I enjoy the company of your penis
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
