she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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