It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
