And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
