I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
