dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
