It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
