pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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