ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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