oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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