sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
