I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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