No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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