her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
