Yo dont text me then not text me
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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