soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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