Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Randomize
