So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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