You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
