Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
