i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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