If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
