i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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