Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just blew my weed a kiss
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I have fence marks all over my body
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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