Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
