We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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