He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
