Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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