just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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