My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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