The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
