a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
