the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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