just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
last night I used snow as a chaser