I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize