Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.