Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize