the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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