I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
