So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
