I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
