hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
