If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So vagazzling was a success
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize