I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
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