You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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