I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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