i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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