Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize