at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
