so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
