Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
