Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Come see our sink grown plant.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
