they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
