You made me cry and you don't even care
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize