Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Can i not drive my cunt home
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize