maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
