i just had sex bonerless
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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