I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
