you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
